I know... I have a huge ego.

          Over the course of my travels from time to time I receive some interesting and conflicting feedback on my conversational skills. Sometimes I am made to feel very special by people who share with me how my story has helped them to find a better day for themselves. Or I might be fortunate enough to hear someone say they appreciate the way I give back to the community. Then occasionally I run into someone who directly or indirectly tells me to shut up and stop talking about how much I am doing, how much I run and how generally awesome I think I am... ouch.

    I think this is most likely due to the two separate and seemingly conflicting agendas that I hold. First and foremost I am a man who has been humbled by addiction and failure. I am a man who believes that if given a chance people are strong enough to lift themselves out of of the depths and reinvent themselves in an instant. I also know I needed help to get sober, so I try to help others through my foundation. But secondly I am also a competitive runner and athlete. I am a business owner and entrepreneur who has to believe I am capable of almost anything if I want to achieve something great.

   I get it. I talk a lot. I know this. I talk a lot about myself. I know this too. Many times in my childish love for life and my over zealous desire to share with others, I enthusiastically share what is going on in my life. I talk about what I am up to with my athletic endeavors and training. I talk about my charitable and philanthropic efforts. I become almost manic. I feel a well of pride and joy for simply being alive and I HAVE to tell you about it. I want everyone to know how The Superman Project is coming along. I want to share with people that not that long ago I couldn't run for more than 15 seconds without resting, and now I run 100 mile races in the mountains... and yes... I want to share that I am getting faster too, and that my hard work is paying off. I share not just to "brag" but because I want to be an example that there is no limit for what we can do if we try. I am not a narcissist. I care about my friends, my family my beautiful girlfriend. I carry the love of all  those close to me in each step I take. I am well aware that its not "all about me" and I genuinely want to know everything about what other people are doing. I want to know what scares people, what motivates people. I want to know what makes people come alive, and I want to know how much hardship and adversity they have overcome along the way.

 I guess I have always been considered extreme and perhaps even a touch eccentric in my life. I ruffle feathers at times, I say the politically incorrect things sometimes. I have always been capable of impressive self stroking in one moment and then humble reflection in the next. Why is it this way? I actually have no idea. I do know that not everyone wants to hear or talk about personal stuff, but I simply cant help myself. I used to guard every thought and emotion I had like it was a matter of national security. I felt if I gave any information that was unneeded it would be used against me at a later date. So I built walls. I lied. I twisted and turned the truth into a pretzel designed to be uneatable. But that behavior got me to be 320lbs, drunk, addicted to pills, addicted to food and waiting for death. So now I just talk. About it all. No secrets. No filters.
    It wasn't that long ago that I was lost and struggling to find anything positive in my life. I had absolutely no confidence left, I was at zero. I wasn't sure if I could lose weight anymore. I wasn't sure I could go a day without getting drunk and I wasn't very confident that I was going to follow through on my new lifestyle. So I stop worrying about it, and started moving forward until everything around me looked different. The distance has brought my confidence back but sometimes I am still overwhelmed by how far I have come. So if you are walking through Life Time and you hear me say something like;

"Damn! I can't believe how well I did in my race went last weekend"

    Make sure there are even other people around because I might just be talking to myself in shock.